Jon Kooley is a proud product of the 49th state–that far off land where bridges lead to nowhere and global warming is total horseshit. A maverick in his younger years, Kooley left Alaska to make a name for himself by relocating to Salt Lake City, yet unlike his home state’s helicopter wolf hunting, frisky-four-eyed librarian-looking, pro-life loving, bastard child grandmothering, sledneck shagging, evolution denying, backyard Gulag gazing, doltish hockey mom of a former governor, Jon’s nomination to attend ANTPM isn’t solely to appease conservative constituents. And masking the legitimacy of Kooley taking home the top title would be like putting lipstick on a pig.