Sicktionary: Z

August 14

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Zaugg Pipe Monster (Zogg Pyp Mahn-ster) noun: The current standard for halfpipe grooming machines. Largely responsible for the progression of pipe riding, the Zaugg Pipe Monster is capable of building halfpipes with walls ranging from  eighteen to twenty-two feet in height. Not to be confused with monster pipes like Sean’s johnson.

Zero Spin [Zee-roh Spihn] noun: The Zero Spin is not to be confused with the D-Spin, invented by skier Mike Douglas, who’s not to be confused with actor Michael Douglas, who’s not to be confused with his wife Catherine Zeta Jones, who’s not to be confused with Tommy Lee Jones, who’s not to be confused with musician John Lee Hooker, who’s not to be confused with the television show T.J. Hooker, that’s not to be confused with freestyle skier T.J. Schiller, who’s definitely not to be confused with the dude that invented the Zero Spin.

Zone [fuhk-yeeah] noun You’ll know when you’re in it!