Wasnatched: Nitro Snatcher Van Violates Utah

April 12

Words: Pat Bridges
Photos: Bob Plumb

Abductions are nothing new in Utah, but when the victim doesn’t fit the third wife mold they do become less common. If the perps are black hoody wearin’ ruffians then you know The Snatcher Van is involved. According to reports coming off the wire 8 “dudes” entered the home of one “Josh” at 7:00 am on a sunny weekend morning. Josh fit the profile of your average shop lurkin’ shred and in turn was easily lured into a day of lapping at Brighton. The perps are believed to be members of the elite Nitro Snowboard team. In a gesture to mock authorities these miscreants not only shot photos of their deeds but they also videotaped their actions. Riders like Knut Elliason, Blake Geis and Justin Keniston can be clearly see pulling back……flips on jib bonk tubes, forward moving tripods and elusive frontside grab ollies while threading the board and upper body with a rope. Brazen moves like this are but a few of the subversive ways these fringe players show disdain for society. In a positive turn of events for Utah riders it is believed that those responsible for these heinous acts have moved on to Colorado.

Nothing like stopping at 7-11 on the way to a kidnapping. Or using a car with non descript hubcabs as a chase vehicle.

Proper use of storage space but there are ski boots creeping into the frame in the lower right.

The look of someone who knows they are getting kidnapped… or they just got caught trying to get their bed pregnant.

Milosport is reported to be the local hideout of the Nitro Team. It is rumored that they loaded up on provisions here before heading to the hill.

This is the moment that the captors realized Josh was goofy.

More Cobra Digs then Reservoir Dogs.

This should be called a flying fish because the rider is combing a stalefish with the bird. Well played.

Something smelled rotten about this caper and it wasn’t the stalefish in the last photo. We knew that something was up. Someone was on the take and this crooked cop just proves it.