Words: Peter Line
Oh man, It’s bluebird today. Bro, I’m so stoked. Baker opening day, 6 inches of fresh and blue skies. Yo, De, you stoked man? Fuck, I’m so stoked. Come on man, tie your boots faster. Damn, look at this lift line. Look at all these fools, I’m gonna totally snake their pow. I know where all the secret stashes are, just follow me man, I know where to go.
Oh shit, the lifts starting. Damn, look at those gapers on the first chair. We should have hiked up and dropped in to get first chair on the lower lifts. Doesn’t matter bro, we’ll find some killer stashes. I know this sick ass jump on chair five, I’m totally feeling double cork today, no prob. I’ve watched all the new vids, I’ve totally got that trick. You know I can do this De, you just watch me. First try. Here we go dude, next chair. Look at all these kooks falling everywhere and wasting turns. They need to be shot. They should only allow sick boarders here at Baker. Baker is for hardcore boarders only man, like me and you De.
Hey, we should strap in on the chairlift. That’s what they do here at Baker, us locals strap in on the chair so we get the sick pow turns first. Hey De look, I think that dude there is Shawn Farmer. That fuckin’ dude rules. Did you hear he did a snowboard porn? Yeah, it’s called Fuck, Rock and Ride. I bet he fucks some chick hard then goes out and does a huge backy off a 50 footer. That would be tight. Hey, De, you ready man? Can you keep up?
Yeahh, first turns of the season, woooh yeahh. Hey, De check it, I’m gonna do a Farmer backy off this kicker. Huhhhhh, owwwwww, owwwww, Damn, owww, I think I broke my arm De. Can you get ski patrol? It really hurts De. What? Where you going De? You’re not going to help me? What did you say? No friends on a powder day? De? help?